Scott Parker Named England Captain?! It Should’ve Been Steven Gerrard

England caretaker boss Stuart Pearce named Scott Parker as the new England captain prior to Englands’s 3-2 defeat to the Netherlands at Wembley thus overlooking Steven Gerrard. One word: madness!

Picture the scene. I am standing in a dining hall after finishing my rather dull and interminable job for a very large Bank (guesses are welcome as I cannot reveal its name or else I face the sack!). When in comes the hottest female going in that shoddy office.

Caked in lavish makeup, long, flowing dark-hair and a pencil skirt to showcase her fine hour-glass figure, she bellows out excitedly, ‘did you hear about the new England captain?’

‘No’ was my reply. ‘Who did he (Stuart Pearce) pick?’ I continued eagerly. ‘Oh, I don’t know his name, but he is that guy who plays for the team in white.’

At that point I thought about cracking the old sexist ‘woman you know nothing about football’ joke but was too mesmerized by her very large cleavage before reflecting back to her words. ‘The guy playing for the team in white? What does that mean?’ I queried. ‘The one whose surname begins with P,’ came her reply.

And then it hit me. Spurs midfielder Scott Parker has been named England captain. My jaw-dropped. ‘WHAT?!’ I exclaimed. ‘He overlooked Steven Gerrard?! In the words of John McEnroe, you can’t be serious,’ I added. head in hands as the lady stared at me blankly.

It will be Parker’s first taste of captaining his country in only his 11th appearance for the national side, having won just three caps up until 2011.

Yes, he is a good, solid, reliable player but to overlook Steven Gerrard whom 60% of Three Lions supporters wanted to lead the national side is unexplainable.

This is of course the same Scott Parker who once held Charlton Athletic to ransom as he engineered a flop move to London-rivals Chelsea, and the same Scott Parker who ‘led’ West Ham to relegation last year.

Steven Gerrard meanwhile has captained and led his side to UEFA Champions League glory and FA Cup success single handedly in 2006.

The Liverpool captain is also an internationally renowed midfielder, commands respect, is a proven winner, as well as being the best of an admittedly bad bunch at World Cup 2010. Having been vice-captain for the past two years was it wrong to assume that ‘Stevie’ was the natural heir to the throne?

As stressed in the ‘Is Jose Mourinho Overrated?’ article, iconoclasm is sometimes a good thing, but this…sorry Pearce, is just bemusing.

Now the debate starts and the questions mount about a decision which could so easily have been avoided had Gerrard instead of Parker been named the new England skipper.



  • Asdertyuilo

    wtf ??!!!

  • Glorialourdes1

    stuart pierce is an asshole anyway ,if i ever see this twat around around ,i swear i am going to fill him in ,he is rubbish at everything he does ,and what has he won ? the guy is a tosser !!

  • LOLGAY^^

    you want to fill stuart pearce in? GAAAAAAY!