The Soccer Saturday Drinking Game

The new season is upon us and this weekend looks like a good’un. I have also got a sneaky feeling that you want to play Jeff Stirling’s Soccer Saturday Drinking Game….So here are the official rules!

Official Rules:-

  • -  Every time a goal is scored:- 1 shot of beer
  • - Every sending off:- 1 shot of Jager (or substitute)
  • - Half time:- Absolutley no alcoholic beverages may be imbibed during this period.
  • - Whenever Chris Kamara is talking:- You must be drinking
  • - Whenever Merson uses stupid rhyming slang (i.e.”he’s hit the beans on toast”!):- 1 shot of Jager
  • - In the second half, all teams can only be referred to by their nicknames:- Failure to do so results in a 3 beer shot penalty.
  • - Whenever Swindon Town appear on the vidiprinter: – Last person to shout out ‘Mackerel’ takes shot of Jager.
  • - Whenever Dundee appear on the vidiprinter:- Last person to shout out ‘Football’ takes shot of Jager.
  • - Everytime Phil Thompson says ‘Stevie (G)errard’:- 3 shots of beer.
  • - Everytime Jeff makes an ‘A Trialist’ joke:- 3 shots of beer.
  • - Everytime your team score:- 2 extra shots of beer
  • - Everytime Jeff calls Kenny Deucher ‘The Good Doctor’:- 1 shot of Whisky
  • - Any hint of racism (social or otherwise) from any of the pundits:- bombs (jager+redbull) all round
  • - Everytime Hartlepool score a goal:- 3 shots of beer
  • - Everytime a pundit shouts off camera:- 2 shots of beer
  • - Everytime LeTiss is mentioned in connection with a takeaway: – 1 shot of Jager
  • - Whenever Chris Kamara says “its unbelievable Jeff”: - all drinks must be downed
  • - Everytime Jeff mentions “dancing in the streets of TNS: – 1 shot of jager
  • - Everytime Jeff says “its Doom and Gloom at…” – 1 shot of jager
  • - Everytime the team ‘Keith’ is referred to as just being one guy :- 1 shot of jager
  • - Everytime Brighton & Hove, or Daggers & Redbridge are jokingly referred to as two different teams playing the same opponent :- 1 shot of jager
  • - Everytime anything bad happens to Craig Bellemy/ Joey Barton/ Wayne Rooney/ Lee Cattermole (injury, og, booked, arrested for assault etc.) :- 2 celebratory shots of the spirit of choice.
  • - Whenever Northampton Town appear on the vidiprinter, last person to shout out ‘Cobblers’ :- shot of Jager
  • - Whenever a James Brown related joke is made :- Last person to sing ‘I feel good’ must down drink
  • - Whenever the James Brown statue dances :- Last person to dance along must have shot of tequila.
  • - Any talk of Man City ‘buying the title’/ title contenders:- down your beer.

ITS Additional rules:-

  • - Any time Fabio Cappello is mentioned/ or a plyer ‘deserves’ a call up :- shot of beer
  • - -If Torres Scores:- two shots of your choice.
  • - If an England wife cheater scores or is sent off (i.e. Crouch, Cole, Terry) :- Last one to shout “where’s your wife?” must down their drink .
  • - Any talk of a team breaking into  the top 4 :– Shot of beer
  • – If twitter is mentioned :- Shot of beer

Please Add your own accordingly


here for the footballing journey.


  • UkuleleKev

    That would get you well and truly wankered, Jeff.