In The Stands

Overrated… Peter Crouch

Ash — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 04:00:21 +0000

I figured seeing as England are playing today, I might as well pick on a player that might play, that lanky streak of piss – Peter Crouch…

Why am I picking on Crouchie? He scored a hat-trick for club recently and has an outrageous scoring record for England. Well quite simply its because he is actually so much worse than how the media portray him to be.

He can only score and trouble little teams, he is not as good in the air as a man with that height should be, but in fairness he is decent on the floor and has a little party trick involving scissor kicks which is quite cool. But the worst bit about it is he is arrogant and thinks he’s gods fucking gift to football, when he is a distinctly average player.

Don’t believe me? Buy your England Euro 2012 tickets or Tottenham Hotspur tickets and see for yourself live in person how distinctly average he is…

Wag Of The Week… Alex Curran

admin — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 03:35:28 +0000

As the In The Stands team have gone on holiday (I’m writing this hours before setting off to the airport), I have decided this week to cheat and pick an easy Wag to show you. This weeks WAG is Steven Gerrards dippy cow of a wife, Alex Curran…

Not a lot to say about this woman except she is the definition of WAG. Living the high life thanks to her rich husband and clearly not with him for his good looks. She is everything I hate about WAG’s, as she would be nothing without Stevie. She has her own stupid column in the Mirror and even released a fragrance in 2007 that was apparently a top seller (according to ol’ wikipedia). I think Kanye West summed it up best when he said; “Now I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger, But she ain’t messin’ with no broke…” Silly (but attractive) bitch…

Fact of the day!

Shaw — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 08:18:05 +0000

Birmingham Goalkeeper, Ben Foster used to work as a chef in Lemington Spa Warwickshire

Is This A Handshake To Be Read Into?..

Ash — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 04:00:42 +0000

A lot is being made in the press of a flurry of bets on Sunday for David Moyes to become the new Villa boss, personally I don’t understand why he would change one tight chairman to another. But a handshake from the game between Villa owner Randy Lerner and Moyes could have more to it than what meets the eye…

Click here to view the embedded video.

What do you think?

Underrated… Joey Barton

Ash — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 17:49:48 +0000

Well the In The Stands team have gone for a jolly good piss up on the Canary Islands this week, so to make sure that you are still receiving wonderful content, I have created a new feature called underrated/overrated. As you can guess, I’ll give you a new player/manager every day that I think is either, well, you can guess the rest…

Now to our first player of the series, Joey Barton.

The man is a wonderful player and I would say the best way to describe him is, he’s a poor man’s Stevie G. Tough tackling, industrious midfielder who also has bags of quality when it comes to set pieces and can drill a ball as good as the best.

But I hear you all laughing, you say he’s a knob, well the problem with Joey was before going teetotal was that he was too normal and too honest and just didn’t fit the mould that we expect from footballers.

He had a wild temper as well as landing himself in trouble when drunk. Hooligan behaviour you say? Normal behaviour from a young man in his twenties if we’re being completely honest. Tell me you don’t know someone like how he was and i’ll call you a liar.

With regards to the too honest bit, he would give damning honest opinions of his team-mates that landed him into heaps of trouble, but I have rarely heard him say something that wasn’t valid.

Barton has heaps of talent that the vast majority of you can’t seem to admire, all you see is his past. He has the ability to be playing for a side pushing for Europe and one important thing to remember is that he is English and I believe he should be on the fringes of the national squad.

Now that Joey has gone teetotal, I think his performance versus Wolves has shown how he can control his temper and just watch out for him when your team play Newcastle. He will be sitting there, spraying passes, dictating play, breaking up opposition attacks and being dangerous when going forward.

Go on be open minded, he served his debt to society courtesy of her majesty, so buy your Newcastle tickets or maybe even soon England football tickets to watch Joey B prove you all wrong…

Win A Stadium Tour Thanks To Latelategifts.co.uk

Ash — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 03:35:04 +0000

The lovely people over at latelategifts.co.uk have decided to give away a stadium tour to one of our lucky readers…

This requires skill more than luck and it is very simple to win. All you have to do is finish top in September in our Fantasy Football League (on Premierleague.com) and be a fan of us on Facebook and you get to choose from one of the following as a prize for coming top:

- Adult Tour of the City of Manchester for 2 people

- Adult Emirates Stadium Tour for 2

- Adult Tour of Old Trafford for 2

- Adult and child Tour of Old Trafford

- Adult and child Tour of Anfield Stadium

- Adult Tour of Stamford Bridge for 2

Just to you know our code to join our league is ‎1678126-327521 and click here to become a fan of ours on facebook.

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Poker Is Better Than Football…

Ash — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 17:24:04 +0000

It is a fact that football is the most popular sport in the world. More people play football, or soccer for those in the U.S., than any other sport. Another “sport” that has been gaining a worldwide following for years is poker, and specifically online Texas Holdem. While it may not have quite the following as football yet, its popularity is growing every day. Some may argue that in some ways, poker is superior to football. Here are some reasons why poker is better than football…

There is Always a Winner

First, there is always a winner and always a loser in poker. There are no ties in poker, especially in poker tournaments. In the U.S. that is one knock that really puts soccer at the bottom of the sports heap. Americans want winners, not drawers.

Anyone Can Play

Literally anyone can play poker. You can’t say that about football. If you are fat, or old, or confined to a wheelchair, you cannot play football. However, you can play poker. Hell, a blind man played and cashed in the Main Event of the World Series of Poker three years ago. A 97 year old man played in the Main Event this year. There aren’t any 97 year old football players in football. And I don’t think anyone would want to watch a blind football match.

The U.S. Actually Cares About Poker

Except for little kids and those playing in the MLS, a majority of people in the United States could care less about soccer. It is a fact. A lot is due to low scoring games. People want excitement in the U.S., and soccer doesn’t fit the bill. Poker, especially televised poker, has a lot of excitement.

You Can Play Anywhere

Just do a search on how to find Texas Hold’em poker sites and you can find all kinds of places to play poker online. This is in addition to live casinos and home games. Pickup football games can be played anywhere, but you can’t play the game in your living room. Well, not if you don’t want to bust up everything. However, poker can, and is, played everywhere.

While poker is not the same athletic competition that football is, it is still growing at a phenomenal rate. Also, poker is a game that can be played for a lifetime. You don’t see many people past 40 playing soccer. Poker is a game that spans all walks of life and does stand a good chance at someday overtaking soccer as the global game. Then again, I doubt you will ever have 50,000 or more screaming fans rooting on a poker player like you do any pro football team. If you haven’t played poker yet, give it a try. I won’t guarantee you will throw your Manchester United jersey in the garbage, but you may discover why the world is so gaga over poker.

That Window Actually Shocked Me…

Ash — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 03:23:18 +0000

Well well, who’d have thought it eh. Deadline day was actually really interesting with probably the teams coming out the best being Birmingham and Stoke. Sunderland smashed their record transfer fee and Spurs might just have signed a Dutch superstar…

The one’s that stood out…

- Ghana star and penalty misser Asamoah Gyan signed for Sunderland for apparently just over £13 million.

- Rafael Van der Vaart has possibly signed for Tottenham in an £8 million move, with Spurs hoping they submitted the relevant paperwork in time to close this deal.

- Stoke snap up Gudjohnsen and Jermaine Pennant on loans, as well as Pompey defender Marc Wilson in a cash plus players move. Some real talent moving in at the Britannia and one of my favourite natural wingers Pennant back in England.

- Birmingham snapped up centre half Jiranek, ex-Arsenal star Hleb and Chilean winger Beausejour, adding real quality to their squad.

- A strange one with Joseph Yobo leaving Everton for Fenerbahce on loan. I thought he was worth keeping? But I guess Moyes knows best.

- Robinho left Man City to join AC Milan for £22 million. It leaves the Rossoneri with one of the most fearsome attack line ups in the world, Ibrahimovic, Pato, Robinho and Ronaldinho.

- Harry Redknapp for some reason has still not gotten over his somewhat irrational hatred of Heurelho Gomes and brought in Croatian goalie Stipe Pletikosa for Spurs.

DJ Campbell signed for the three-siders (Blackpool) and Wigan signed starlets Cleverley and Di Santo to round up the major signings from a rather interesting deadline day…

Which Of These Will Actually Go Through On Deadline Day?…

Ash — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 22:43:59 +0000

Deadline day is normally quite good for an interesting signing or two, Berba signing at United, Robinho landing in Manchester and West Ham signing Argentinian duo Mascherano and Tevez. So far there is just one big signing that has been banded about, Adebayor to Spurs!!!!

It seems Harry has no respect for the North London rivalry and is looking to follow up on his signing of Willy Gallas, with Badebayor. The Spurs fan’s will not be happy about talk of a loan for the Togo international to White Hart Lane, with him being a key protagonist of the years. Harry’s getting desperate for a striker, but surely he can’t be this desperate.

After the jump a couple more transfers I expect to go through…

Robinho to AC Milan…

Milan signed Ibrahimovic on loan earlier this week and they look set to land “Robbie” on a similar deal. I’m just disappointed that Man Yoo didn’t put a bid in for the lad.

And lastly because I’m a local to Newcastle I hope they sign this chap, Ricky van Wolfswinkel from Utrecht. Not a clue who he is? A Dutch international who banged a hat-trick past Celtic last week, to knock them out of the Europa League. Hughton seem’s to have made some thought out signings and this could be his icing on the cake…

Oh and a quick thanks to Sky Sports News for no longer being on freeview, thanks for nothing…

Turn’s Out Harry Redknapp Doesn’t Like The Truth…

Ash — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 02:10:27 +0000

We all know Harry Redknapp is basically Del Boy, a wheeler and dealer from East London, but it turns out he doesn’t like to be called that…

Click here to view the embedded video.

You know for next time Rob Palmer of Sky Sports…