After 8-2 Obliteration Should Arsenal Fans Commit Suicide?

In The Stands’ Rolly Pelovangu takes a satirical look back at Arsenal’s 8-2 mauling at the hands of Manchester United.

Monsieur Wenger is seemingly an intelligent man, very philosophical in fact. So upon mentioning the name Albert Camus, the belated Gunners boss will know exactly who I mean.

Albert Camus was an eminent 20th century French-Algerian philosopher who popularized the term ‘absurdism’.

Never could one envisage mixing philosophical discourses with football, but after the 8-2 evisceration Arsenal suffered at the hands on Manchester United, the search for answers and explanations has taken on intellectual and academic proportions.

‘Absurdism’ is a philosophy stating that the efforts of humanity to find meaning in the universe will ultimately fail (and hence are absurd), because, according to Camus, no such meaning exists.

Its relation to Arsene Wenger? That’s easy; just look at the futility and hopelessness as mentioned by Camus and currently besetting England’s third most successful club ever.

All of Arsene Wenger’s labour of the ages, all his devotion, all the inspiration bestowed upon Arsenal FC, all the noonday brightness coupled with his apparent human genius, are destined to extinction as the North London club slowly wither away like a dying leaf. In the wake of the 8-2 devastation, the whole temple of Wenger’s achievement threatens to be buried beneath a debris of ruins.

The feeling of futility and lack of direction encapsulating Wenger is akin to that of Sisyphus; the famous Greek mythological King.

Everytime a beleaguered Sisyphus thought he had successfully rolled that huge boulder up to the top of the mountain, it would only come crashing back down on him again…and again…and again.

No matter what a doomed method Sisyphus tried, no matter what angles he took and despite his stern belief that the next attempt was to be the ‘successful’ attempt, the result was always the same – namely failure and disappointment.

And so Arsene Wenger’s badly besmirched Arsenal side think they are ready to challenge for major honours, they jauntily prepare for an onslaught on the obstacles facing them, get mighty close, before coming crashing back down to Earth much like Sisyphus’ boulder.

Given such a painful existence, it is enough to drive any Gooner insane and like Sisyphus, ponder committing suicide. Yes, that is how bad things have become over in N5. In Arsene We Trust???!!! Really???


  • Depressed Arsenal Fan

    This is the blackest day in Arsenal FC history. How we have fallen from Grace is beyond UNFORGIVABLE.

    There is a famine in Somalia, Libya is burning, Hurricane Irene is about to pound America, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan continue, however, the sadness felt about da 8-2 trumps this all.

    This is BEYOND BELEIF.

  • Sligh

    very well put.

  • Lancau

    Fuck you wenger.we wnat new manager!!!!!!!!