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What a year 2011 was for Football! We have had fireworks, management fallouts, enthralling top-of-the-table encounters, relegation scraps and transfer embargos to drive any football fan round the twist. So without wetting your appetite any further, here is In The Stands’ top ten football moments of 2011.
10. Swansea’s One Minute Clap and the Death of Gary Speed
I start our top 10 moments of the year with one of the worst news stories I have heard in my adult life: the death of Wales Manager Gary Speed. Unfortunately, my words cannot sum up how much of a loss this is to Football, but the magic of football did as I, and Millions of others were thoroughly touched by the one minute applause that was given to the great man in the Match between Swansea and Aston Villa. R.I.P Gary Speed.
9. Wayne Rooney’s Red Card
Footballers are very much like Marmite, you either love them or hate them. So, for out Top 10 of the week this week we have listed those who emulate the slogan incorporated by our favourite yeast extract…
10. Roy ‘Keano’ Keane
Love: Perhaps the only born leader of his generation.
Hate: In my eyes, he cannot be forgiven for THAT challenge on Alf-Inge Haaland. But, that said, he at least admitted in his book that he purposefully set out to end a players career – so you can’t fault him for being consistent.
9. Cristiano ‘Dior’ Ronaldo
Love: He’s a wonderful footballer and a spectacular talent who scores goals for fun. If he helps Real Madrid to the 2011/2012 title I think he deserves legendary status Equalling Messi. Need I say more?
Hate: He’s arrogant, he’s a womaniser, he’s a bit of a sleazebag and he dresses terribly.
8. Wayne ‘Boo-nay’ Rooney
With England through to the European Championships in 2012, what ten players should Fabio Capello trail between now and when he decides on his 23-man squad.
Lets face it, In 2012 Fabio Capello will probably pick these 23 players: Hart, Carson, Fielding, Cole, Terry, Cahill, Ferdinand, P. Jones, Jagielka/ C. Smalling, G.Johnson, Downing, Young, Milner/ Barry, Parker, Wilshere, Gerrard, Lampard, Walcott/ A. Johnson, Rooney, Defoe/ Crouch, Bent, Carroll
But he really should consider his options…
10. Joey Barton
Barton may never fulfil his dream of playing for England in a major international tournament based on reputation and politics. But, squabbles aside, Barton doesn’t, as of yet, deserve a place. He needs to work hard week in week out and if he gets a chance, he needs to be the best player on the pitch.
9. Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain
Apparently, it’s cool to walk around with a bike with no gears and no brakes, to wear thick rimmed glasses despite having perfect 20-20 vision, to quote Friedrich Nietzsche and to recite poems, and to be more tattooed that Travis Barker.
Well obviously that’s the case because every footballer seems to be doing it. So get your sheepish swager on, get out your wayfarer’s, boat shoes and chinos out and join in….before anyone else does. Too late everyone is doing it!
10. Theo Walcott
Theo always makes our top 10′s, always in at number 10 because he never quite makes the mark. Just like in real life really. But bless him, he does try.
9. Andrey Arshavin
All you need to do is go onto Arsharvin’s website to be introduced into his cooky, Indie mind. One of the requirements of a hipster is to pose in various settings and situations. Scout pose, KAPOW. See more photos here
There are no matches on TV worth watching, your Sunday league team is down to 8 people while everyone takes a holiday – rendering training as pointless, and there is nothing to good to read beyond ridiculous transfer rumours. But fear not because ITS are about to give you ten ways to keep football in your life…
10. Play football games
We’ll start off quite simple by suggesting that you invite some mates round for a fifa marathon. Complemented by a few brewskys this should keep your mind off the lack of football. If this get boring why not try dusting off the old consoles and re igniting some classics, such as: FIFA 97/98/99, Football Italia 90, Kick-off, World Cup 98 (Take off fouls for added entertainment), This is Football (Just for the dive button) and David Beckham Soccer (Okay, I’d avoid the last one)
9. Watch the classics
We are cheating a bit this week by breaking our top 10 into two parts. The reason for this is because injuries fall into three different categories. 1) Boring. They pulled their hammy, waaa, 2) Stupid footballer’s getting injured in unorthodox ways (our personal favourite) and 3) horrible leg breaks that turn your stomach (The two later make this list…)
The funnies
10. Leroy Lita
If you’re Leroy Lita you are more likely to injure yourself while resting in comparison to, well, sitting on the subs bench. The Middlesbrough man missed the first month of the 2007-08 Premier League season after damaging a leg muscle as he stretched in bed after waking up.
9. Fábio Aurélio
Some say kids can be dangerous, but if you’re Fabio Aurélio you’re, perhaps more of a danger to yourself. HE injured himself after a kick around with his kids at a beach on holiday turned nasty when the full-back jarred his knee, ruining his pre-season preparations and forcing him to the sidelines for the first two months of the season.
As we all know playing like Barcelona is the only way forward and if we don’t follow suit the World will crumble into a murky abyss filled to the brim with paella. Soon, full English’s will become continental breakfasts and cups of tea will, of course, befall to coffee…
Wanna eat this puke!?!?!
So do we compete, changing our ideology as a country of ‘brave-hearts’ and ‘warriors’, so that we play ’pretty patterns’ football (ITV, 2011)?
Honestly I do not know, but if we do choose to abandon our historical footballing roots to adhere to the ‘right way of playing’, nay…the divine way of playing football . I suggest these ten tweaks to the English game…
1. Don’t clear the ball.
I know you may be in danger as the apposing team run at you with an almighty rapidity. But fear not, try a step-over, shift right, shift left, throw in a maradona turn. After doing so simply pass it to one of your teammates. Easy!
Music and football have a long serving link, acting as a catalyst for fans to get behind their team/ country. This week InTheStands picks out ten of our favourite anthems…
10. Adam and Joe – Football Song
Certainly parodic yet impulsively entertaining; Adam and Joe released this song in reaction to the terrible football songs of the past. This is in fact their second World Cup version and lyrically it’s fantastically terrible just like it’s original: “when I go see Spain I drink a lot of beer and cause trouble on the plane’.
9. Collapsed Lung – Eat my Goal
Not to be confused with Aqualung, this Indie-band dipped their toe into the limelight when this song was featured in the Coca Cola’s classic football campaign: Eat, Sleep, Drink and drink football. Years later this one-hit-wonder was also used by LMA Manager for their 2001 version of the game.
8. Shakira – Waka, Waka (This time for Africa)
Like sex, football sells. Sometimes its for the good, but usually its for the bad as James Shaw will prove in 10 swift steps…
10. Sharpie
David Beckham has his but do you have yours? Well, No, unfortunately not because my daily routine doesn’t involve the signing of milk bottles, magazines and women’s tits depending on what paper you read.
I’m not quite sure what compelled me to do this top-10. I myself am not massively fashion concious and I usually opt for a jeans and shirt combo or something similar. I guess some footballers have that same philosophy, whereas some prefer to be outrageous. Have a look anyway and please comment and add your own fashion style files, if that is something you enjoy doing….
10. The Dad
Micky-o has just thought of a fantastic Dad joke…
You no longer care, you get free clothes from my boot’s company and you plan to wear them with a pair of jeans. As for hair, I will leave it alone thank-you-very-much.
Those Rocking the look: Michael Owen
9. Ready for football, all the time
Dawson struggling with basic grade 2 maths…
Messi wearing a green polo neck to an award ceremony…classy.
Like the dad, this look involves very little commitment. Understandably, joggers and a t-shirt make sense if you’re on the way to training, but all the time? Come on now; put a little more effort into your appearance fella!
What to know what players are about to be ‘the next big thing’? Well this list aims to educate you in that department as I take a look at ten players destined for great things. So sit back, enjoy and watch this space…
10. Mario Götze, Dortmund and Germany
One of the many shining lights in Dortmund’s season, eighteen year old, Gotze has already shown world-class potential. With one cap to his name, Mario recently gained a colossal vote of confidence from German Football Association’s technical director Matthias Sammer who called him; “one of the best talents that we’ve ever had”.
He is yet another player added to the long list of young and up-and-coming players to come out of the German youth system – which would suggest that in a few years their national side might be a world beater.
Firstly, I propose a question: Do you burst out in laughter when you see that a footballer has written off their 240k sports car? Firstly, I might add, that they are safe and with their health and well-being still intact. So it’s okay, laugh, lap it up, you know you want too…
10. David Bentley
The Spurs midfielder, now on-loan at Birmingham, had his crash after a Jet gig – I know, what bad taste he has. Obviously, had to have a few bevies, but forgot he was driving home that night. Inebriated on his return journey he lost control and bent his 90k porshe around a lamppost. Cue the headlines: ‘Bent it like Beckham’ – The Sun and ‘Bentley hits the post’ – The Mirror. As well as ’A driving ban’ – The Police. Nice one captain dickhead, I joke, he’ll never be a captain.
9. Kieron Dyer
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