I figured seeing as England are playing today, I might as well pick on a player that might play, that lanky streak of piss – Peter Crouch…

Why am I picking on Crouchie? He scored a hat-trick for club recently and has an outrageous scoring record for England. Well quite simply its because he is actually so much worse than how the media portray him to be.

He can only score and trouble little teams, he is not as good in the air as a man with that height should be, but in fairness he is decent on the floor and has a little party trick involving scissor kicks which is quite cool. But the worst bit about it is he is arrogant and thinks he’s gods fucking gift to football, when he is a distinctly average player.

Don’t believe me? Buy your England Euro 2012 tickets or Tottenham Hotspur tickets and see for yourself live in person how distinctly average he is…

As the In The Stands team have gone on holiday (I’m writing this hours before setting off to the airport), I have decided this week to cheat and pick an easy Wag to show you. This weeks WAG is Steven Gerrards dippy cow of a wife, Alex Curran…

Not a lot to say about this woman except she is the definition of WAG. Living the high life thanks to her rich husband and clearly not with him for his good looks. She is everything I hate about WAG’s, as she would be nothing without Stevie. She has her own stupid column in the Mirror and even released a fragrance in 2007 that was apparently a top seller (according to ol’ wikipedia). I think Kanye West summed it up best when he said; “Now I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger, But she ain’t messin’ with no broke…” Silly (but attractive) bitch…

Birmingham Goalkeeper, Ben Foster used to work as a chef in Lemington Spa Warwickshire

A lot is being made in the press of a flurry of bets on Sunday for David Moyes to become the new Villa boss, personally I don’t understand why he would change one tight chairman to another. But a handshake from the game between Villa owner Randy Lerner and Moyes could have more to it than what meets the eye…

What do you think?

Well the In The Stands team have gone for a jolly good piss up on the Canary Islands this week, so to make sure that you are still receiving wonderful content, I have created a new feature called underrated/overrated. As you can guess, I’ll give you a new player/manager every day that I think is either, well, you can guess the rest…

Now to our first player of the series, Joey Barton.

The man is a wonderful player and I would say the best way to describe him is, he’s a poor man’s Stevie G. Tough tackling, industrious midfielder who also has bags of quality when it comes to set pieces and can drill a ball as good as the best.

But I hear you all laughing, you say he’s a knob, well the problem with Joey was before going teetotal was that he was too normal and too honest and just didn’t fit the mould that we expect from footballers.

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The lovely people over at latelategifts.co.uk have decided to give away a stadium tour to one of our lucky readers…

This requires skill more than luck and it is very simple to win. All you have to do is finish top in September in our Fantasy Football League (on Premierleague.com) and be a fan of us on Facebook and you get to choose from one of the following as a prize for coming top:

- Adult Tour of the City of Manchester for 2 people

- Adult Emirates Stadium Tour for 2

- Adult Tour of Old Trafford for 2

- Adult and child Tour of Old Trafford

- Adult and child Tour of Anfield Stadium

- Adult Tour of Stamford Bridge for 2

Just to you know our code to join our league is ‎1678126-327521 and click here to become a fan of ours on facebook.

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It is a fact that football is the most popular sport in the world. More people play football, or soccer for those in the U.S., than any other sport. Another “sport” that has been gaining a worldwide following for years is poker, and specifically online Texas Holdem. While it may not have quite the following as football yet, its popularity is growing every day. Some may argue that in some ways, poker is superior to football. Here are some reasons why poker is better than football…

There is Always a Winner

First, there is always a winner and always a loser in poker. There are no ties in poker, especially in poker tournaments. In the U.S. that is one knock that really puts soccer at the bottom of the sports heap. Americans want winners, not drawers.

Anyone Can Play

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Well well, who’d have thought it eh. Deadline day was actually really interesting with probably the teams coming out the best being Birmingham and Stoke. Sunderland smashed their record transfer fee and Spurs might just have signed a Dutch superstar…

The one’s that stood out…

- Ghana star and penalty misser Asamoah Gyan signed for Sunderland for apparently just over £13 million.

- Rafael Van der Vaart has possibly signed for Tottenham in an £8 million move, with Spurs hoping they submitted the relevant paperwork in time to close this deal.

- Stoke snap up Gudjohnsen and Jermaine Pennant on loans, as well as Pompey defender Marc Wilson in a cash plus players move. Some real talent moving in at the Britannia and one of my favourite natural wingers Pennant back in England.

- Birmingham snapped up centre half Jiranek, ex-Arsenal star Hleb and Chilean winger Beausejour, adding real quality to their squad.

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Deadline day is normally quite good for an interesting signing or two, Berba signing at United, Robinho landing in Manchester and West Ham signing Argentinian duo Mascherano and Tevez. So far there is just one big signing that has been banded about, Adebayor to Spurs!!!!

It seems Harry has no respect for the North London rivalry and is looking to follow up on his signing of Willy Gallas, with Badebayor. The Spurs fan’s will not be happy about talk of a loan for the Togo international to White Hart Lane, with him being a key protagonist of the years. Harry’s getting desperate for a striker, but surely he can’t be this desperate.

After the jump a couple more transfers I expect to go through…

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We all know Harry Redknapp is basically Del Boy, a wheeler and dealer from East London, but it turns out he doesn’t like to be called that…

You know for next time Rob Palmer of Sky Sports…

Wolves drew with Newcastle yesterday 1-1 but it is worth noting the shocking treatment Joey Barton received from Mick McCarthy’s men…

I’m probably Joey’s number one (and only) fan and I found it disgusting how he was treated. The referee didn’t offer him enough protection, as Wolves players tried to provoke the lad and then on his first tackle he carded him. He is a quality player and he doesn’t deserve his past to prejudice anything on the pitch. He also showed himself to be a class act by not retaliating, like the old Joey would have…

Santos’ Neymar, the lad who turned down Chelsea earlier in the transfer window, was fouled in a match in probably the most entertaining way I’ve ever seen…